
Dressed in flowing gold robes, the bald female meditation
teacher told us to do nothing. We were to sit silently in our plastic chairs,
close our eyes, and focus on our breath. I had never meditated, but I’d gone to
church, so I instinctively bowed my head. Then I realized, given that this
would last for 15 minutes, I should probably find a more comfortable neck
position.
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This was the first of two meditation sessions of the Kadampa
Buddhism class I attended this week near my house, in Northern Virginia, and I
did not reach nirvana. Because we were in a major city, occasional sirens
outside blasted through the quiet, and because this was a church basement,
people were laughing and talking in the hallways. One guy wandered in to ask if
this was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. The more we focused on our breath,
the teacher assured us, the more these distractions would fade away.
After we had meditated for 15 minutes, the teacher shifted
focus to the topic of the class: letting go of resentments. This was the real
reason I had come to this meditation class, rather than simply meditating on my
own at home with an app. I wanted to learn more about Buddhism and how its
teachings might be able to improve my mental health—and that of the myriad
other Americans who have flocked to some form of the religion in recent years.
These newcomers aren’t necessarily seeking spiritual enlightenment or a faith
community, but rather hoping for a quick boost of cognitive healing.
The people I spoke with were young and old, but few were
Buddhist by birth. Perhaps some have just run out of options: Mental-health
disorders are up in Western societies, and the answer doesn’t seem to be church
attendance, which is down. There’s always therapy, but it’s so expensive. My
meditation class was $12.
As she opened a book on Buddhist teachings, the teacher told
the class that holding grudges is harmful. Resentment feels like clutching a
burning stick and complaining that it’s burning us. And yet, being harmed by
someone also hurts. So, the teacher said, the question was this: “What do I do
with my mind if I feel like I’ve been harmed by someone?”
Americans everywhere seem to be asking themselves variations
on this very question: What do we do with our minds?
The 40-something dad in Los Angeles was plateauing. He had
achieved most of his career goals, rising to the position of senior manager at
a large company. But the competitive nature of the work had taken its toll on
his marriage, and he was in the process of getting a divorce. He rarely saw his
grown children. “In short, I am going through a midlife crisis,” the dad told
me via email, a few days before I attended the meditation class. (He asked to
remain anonymous, because his divorce and other struggles aren’t public.)
Last year, this dad turned to traditional psychotherapy for
a few months, but he didn’t see as much of a benefit from it as he had hoped.
He felt like he was mostly being taught to justify destructive emotions and
behaviors. His therapist did, however, recommend two books that were helpful:
How to Be an Adult in Relationships, by David Richo, and The Wise Heart, by
Jack Kornfield. Both authors work in Buddhist themes and ideas, and earlier
this year they introduced him to the practice of meditation.
Hungry for more, the dad recently attended a Buddhist
meditation class in Hollywood, where he learned ways to deepen his own
meditation practice and to change his approach to relationships. Now he feels
more open and is willing to be more vulnerable around his family and friends.
“As a Catholic, I struggle with some of the religious concepts,” he says, “but
it doesn’t prevent me from adopting the Buddhist techniques and philosophies.”
Besides, he told me, it really does seem like the universe has been putting
Buddhism in front of him.
Though precise numbers on its popularity are hard to come
by, Buddhism does seem to be emerging in the Western, type-A universe. The
journalist Robert Wright’s Why Buddhism Is True became a best seller in 2017.
Buddhist meditation centers have recently popped up in places such as
Knoxville, Tennessee, and Lakewood, Ohio. There are now dozens of Buddhist
podcasts, among many more apps and playlists geared specifically toward
personal, non-Buddhist meditation. Four in 10 American adults now say they
meditate at least weekly.
Hugh Byrne, the director of the Center for Mindful Living in
Washington, D.C., says the local meditation community has “blossomed in the
past few years.” As I stress-Ubered from meeting to meeting in D.C. recently, I
noticed a few “meditation spaces” where far more consumerist establishments
used to be. Academic research on mindfulness meditation has also exploded,
making what in the West was once an esoteric practice for hippies more akin to
a life hack for all.
Buddhism has been popular in various forms among certain
celebrities and tech elites, but the religion’s primary draw for many Americans
now appears to be mental health. The ancient religion, some find, helps them
manage the slings and arrows and subtweets of modern life. Many people are
stressed out by the constant drama of the current administration, and work
hours have overwhelmed the day. There’s something newly appealing about a
practice that instructs you to just sit, be aware, and realize nothing lasts
forever. Perhaps the comfort comes simply from knowing that the problems that
bedevil humans have been around since long before Gmail.
A few themes and ideas seem to unite the disparate
experiences of the people I interviewed. The Buddha’s first “noble truth” is
that “life is suffering,” and many of Buddhism’s newly minted Western
practitioners have interpreted this to mean that accepting emotional pain might
be preferable to trying to alleviate it. “Buddhism admits that suffering is
inevitable,” says Daniel Sanchez, a 24-year-old in New Jersey. “I shouldn’t
focus on avoiding suffering, but learn how to deal with suffering.”
In addition to meditating every morning and night, Sanchez
reads the Diamond Sutra and Heart Sutra, texts from the early Middle Ages, and
listens to zen talks. The sutras are quite a departure from the normal content
of psychotherapy, in which one might ponder what truly makes one happy.
Buddhist thought suggests that one should not compulsively crave comfort and
avoid discomfort, which some see as permission to hop off the hedonic
treadmill.
A Colorado life coach named Galen Bernard told me that
Comfortable With Uncertainty, by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, has influenced
his well-being more than anything else, except perhaps his very first
experience on Prozac. He says the book and its teachings have helped him avoid
labeling certain experiences as negative by default. For example, transitioning
to a friendship with an ex-girlfriend after their breakup was painful for him
at first, but Chodron’s and others’ writings helped him see that “it might seem
like too much pain,” he said, “but actually it’s just an experience I’m having
that … can actually be a portal to joy on the other side.”
For decades, people have been attempting self-improvement
through classes and seminars, many of which incorporated elements of Eastern
religions. The Human Potential Movement of the 1960s influenced the work of the
foundational psychologist Abraham Maslow and, perhaps less positively, the
Rajneesh movement, documented in the Netflix show Wild Wild Country. In the
1970s, the organization Erhard Seminars Training, or EST, offered courses on
how to “take responsibility for your life” and “get it.”
What’s different—and perhaps reassuring—about Buddhism is
that it’s an existing religion practiced by half a billion people. Because
relatively few Caucasian Americans grew up Buddhist, they generally don’t
associate any familial baggage with it like some do with, say, the Christianity
or Judaism of their childhoods. While liberating, this also means that the
practice of secular Buddhism often differs dramatically from the religion itself.
All of the secular practitioners I spoke with for this piece are reading
different books, listening to different podcasts, and following different
teachers and traditions. Their interpretations of Buddhist teachings aren’t
necessarily consistent with one another or with traditional texts.
I ran some of their insights by an expert in Buddhism, David
McMahan at Franklin and Marshall College, who said some of these Western
interpretations are slightly morphed from Buddhism’s original cultures and
contexts. Buddhism carries with it a set of values and morals that white
Americans don’t always live by. Much like “cafeteria Catholics” ignore parts of
the religion that don’t resonate with them, some Westerners focus on only
certain elements of Buddhist philosophy and don’t endorse, say, Buddhism’s view
of reincarnation or worship of the Buddha. Call them “buffet Buddhists.”
Taken out of their Buddhist context, practices like
meditation “become like a dry sponge,” McMahan said, “soaking up whatever
values are around.” Traditional monks don’t “meditate for business.”
This so-called secular Buddhism, says Autry Johnson, a
Colorado bartender and tourism worker who meditates regularly, “is a little
more accessible to people that wouldn’t primarily identify as Buddhists, or
already identify with another religion or philosophy, but want to adopt aspects
of Buddhist practice to supplement their current worldview.” (Indeed, many
meditation centers emphasize that you don’t have to be Buddhist to attend
sessions.)
Buffet Buddhism may not be traditional, but its flexibility
does allow its adherents to more easily employ the philosophy for an
antidepressant jolt. Some people practice Buddhism and meditation as an
alternative to psychotherapy or psychiatric medication, given mental-health
care’s cost and scarcity: Sixty percent of counties in the U.S. don’t have a
single psychiatrist. “I have pretty good health insurance,” Bernard said, “but
if I want support, it’s a month and a half to see someone new. Having a
resource that I can pop open is invaluable.”
Some people turn to both Buddhism and psychotherapy.
“There’s an overlap between the reason people will come to therapy and the
reason they come to meditation,” says Byrne, the Center for Mindful Living
director. Some therapists are even starting to incorporate Buddhist concepts
into their practices. Tara Brach, a psychologist and the founder of the Insight
Meditation Community of Washington, D.C., offers meditations and talks with titles
like “From Human Doing to Human Being” on her website. In Texas, the
psychologist Molly Layton encourages clients to mindfully “sit with their
thoughts,” rather than to “jump into the cycle of their thinking.”
Mary Liz Austin, who practices psychotherapy at the Center
for Mindful Living, similarly helps clients see that “it’s the attachment to
the outcome that really causes suffering.” Another favorite teaching of hers is
Chodron’s aphorism “Everything is workable.” This means, essentially, that something
good might come out of even the worst moments. “I’m having an experience right
now with my father-in-law. He’s dying of cancer. It’s a shitty situation,”
Austin says. “But what I’m seeing is that the fruits of this cancer diagnosis
is everyone is by his bedside, everyone is showing amazing love to him, and
that allows the people in your life to show up in a way that you see so much
what matters.”
At times, it’s the meditation teachers who sound more like
psychotherapists, offering practical tips for dealing with existential
quandaries. Byrne, who also teaches meditation, wrote a book about the power of
mindfulness for habit change. He uses mindfulness meditation to help people
understand impermanence, another Buddhist teaching. The idea is to see your emotions
and experiences—including anxiety or pain—as constantly changing, “like a
weather system coming through,” he says. Everything, eventually, ends.
Cecilia Saad found this to be an especially attractive
element of Buddhism. A close friend of hers was diagnosed with cancer three
years ago, and Saad was impressed by how calm she remained throughout her
diagnosis and treatment. “We’ve talked a lot about her outlook, and she always
goes back to her Buddhism,” she says. Now, when Saad is stressed about
something, the concept of impermanence helps her to imagine that she’s already
survived the event she’s dreading.
At my meditation class, the teacher read from her book in
her even, perfectly unaccented voice. The book told us to consider that there
are two reasons someone might cause us harm: It’s their nature to be harmful,
or a temporary circumstance caused them to act in a harmful way. Either way,
the teacher said, it doesn’t make sense to be angry at the person. The nature
of water is wet, so you wouldn’t rage at the rain for getting you wet. And you
wouldn’t curse the clouds for temporarily having a weather system that causes a
downpour.
“When are we compelled to hurt people?” she asked,
rhetorically, before answering: “When we’re in pain. It’s easy, if you see the
fear, to have some compassion.”
She asked us to close our eyes and meditate again, this time
while thinking about letting go of resentment toward someone who had harmed
us. I shifted awkwardly and wondered how the burly guy sitting in front of me
wearing a lift life T-shirt felt. I was having trouble focusing on resentment,
and my eyes flickered open involuntarily. It was 30 degrees outside, yet most
of the seats were taken. The fullness was uplifting. Still, it was remarkable
that so many of us were willing to stumble through the freezing dark just to
take in some basic wisdom about how to be less sad.
In Sunday school, when you opened your eyes during prayer,
other kids would tell on you, thereby implicating themselves as having opened
their eyes, too. That’s how people are sometimes, I thought: They’ll burn
themselves for the chance to harm someone else. I took a deep breath and tried
to have compassion for them anyway.
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